moderndayghost | (no subject)

(no subject)

Ryo has finished painting a dragon, finally. After it dries, he decides to take a chance on Al being out and about rather than being in the other world. He carries it carefully, and peeks into rooms.

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Ryo will find him in the community kitchen, staring hopelessly at a recipe book with some sort of half-done batter in front of him. It looks as though he's made a sadly failed attempt.

"Pancakes?" He sniffs the bowl, and wrinkles his nose, then tries to cover the expression with a hand. No need to be rude.

"Muffins."

Al sadly puts down the recipe book. "I think I misremembered a few ingredients."

"Well, maybe you didn't, maybe the eggs were bad."

He's trying to be helpful. He smiles at Al and sets the dragon in front of him.

"I thought maybe you could give it to Ed, next time you see him."

Al is visibly startled. All of a sudden he realizes he should know, is expected to know who this is, and it will most likely hurt his feelings terribly if he doesn't.

"... it- this is beautiful. Did you make it?"

Ryo blinks several times, his brow furrowing, and he straightens.

"I- I'm terribly sorry. I thought you were someone else."

It's another Al. He knows they're around, he just hasn't met one. And he'd been certain, naively, that he'd be able to tell his apart from the rest. He gives Al an awkward smile and takes the dragon back.

"... w-wait. Please."

Al gets up. He's shorter than he was -- like when Ryo first met him. All the scars appear to be the same. His arms, his forehead, his chin, it's all there.

"I'm... I probably do know you. I'm just having a lot of trouble with my memory right now. I mean, I recognize you, I just don't know what color your eyes should be, whether they're blue or black, and I can't remember your name but I know I have it carved into my shoulder-"

It trips him, and it spills out.

"I clearly love you very much."

It feels like having a vise abruptly crushing his chest. He can feel his smile wavering and he licks his lips to buy time to compose his face. He can panic, or scream, or cry later.

He closes off any thought about what this could mean, or will mean, because Al needs him right here more.

"What happened? Is it from a room you were in? Is this- why you haven't come home?"

Al still can't find his name, but his heart sinks. He catches the look in his eyes, because he knows him. Knows all his little tells and quirks and every nervous habit without having to think.

He falters, giving a half second of thought to whether it would be appropriate to hug him, but then throws all caution to the wind, reaching for him.

"... Ryo," he finally whispers. "It's not, I've been- been home. For three years. ... I haven't been able to find our room."

"Three years?" Ryo has spent months at home, but time has passed more or less the same for him. No wonder Al is so confused.

He buries his face against Al's shoulder, and laughs once, shortly. Then he's crying, but silently, the way he's conditioned himself to do. He still has room for a watery, giggly, "You're short now!"

"That's what everyone keeps saying-"

He hugs him tightly, fingers in his hair, utterly unchanged. Some things will always endure. "This whole thing is a mess. I'm so sorry to worry you this way, put you through this."

He shakes his head. He tries really hard not to worry; if he started he'd never be able to stop.

"Mr. Barma must have stressed himself grey-haired by now, though. Do you know who he is?"

Barma.

The name he's been aching to remember for weeks. Red hair, long, books and tea and warm arms and-

"... I haven't. He must be..."

"Oh, no no, I didn't mean that. We all get used to people being gone for a few weeks. You haven't been gone from here for years. Please don't feel bad."

"All right. Okay."

He gathers himself up, rubbing Ryo's back, touching his hair. "I missed you and I can't even remember."

It's nice to hear, though Ryo doesn't quite believe it. It's impossible to miss something you aren't even aware exists.

But Al is back, and he clings to him.

"Do you remember anything about this place? Does it help to see familiar things?"

"Yes. And to talk about them."

Just holding Ryo is enough to bring it all back, just being in their kitchen like this.

"It's strange, it's like this... deep ache. Like when you can't sleep but you keep having nightmares of it already being morning and everything going wrong -- but they're things that have already happened."

Edited 2012-07-26 07:23 (UTC)

Ryo listens, hurting for him, how confused and alone he must have felt. How guilty he probably feels for not remembering.

"It's all right now. Come back to our room; I'll make you some hot chocolate. Maybe it'll help."

All of the tension seems to rush out of him.

"... thank you." His voice is small; he hasn't been able to express just how much he needed someone to get it.

Ryo smiles at him, and takes his hand and the dragon to lead him home.

"I'll love you even without your memories, amnesia-Al."

Al laces their fingers together like he always does. Little things like that come without thought.

"They'll come back, I think. With time."

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